Feel-Better Mornings for Families
Get back-to-basics with a simple ‘good morning’
Not a morning person? I hear you. I have never been a morning person and my husband even less so. Needless to say, our kids didn’t stand a chance in the ‘spring out of bed early’ department.
Like many parents, I have to push myself to find my wake-up cheer because my default is to go into morning rush mode barking orders to make it out the door on time.
Due to Covid-19, our family had a reprieve from the morning rush as Toronto schools were closed following the Christmas break. Today was the first day we had to leave our house on-time for anything since December 18.
Our family developed some poor morning habits during the two months the kids’ schools went virtual. My kids were sleeping-in until 10 minutes before their online class began, eating breakfast while their teachers took online attendance, and brushing their teeth during first recess; anything to delay our wake-up time.
As a result, the alarm this morning was agony (almost two hours earlier than what we had come to enjoy during remote learning).
Our adrenalin, however, part excitement and part anxiety of seeing people in person again, made the morning manageable.
The adrenalin will be gone tomorrow and so we need to reinstate the good morning habits we’ve worked hard as a family to build.
Feeling hoarse each morning is not the best option
Many of us present an ‘outside face’ that differs from our ‘at-home face’ when cajoling our kids out the door. I have joked with many a mom, that every parent must leave their home feeling hoarse in the morning.
A few years ago, I recognized that my morning yelling had become a habit (rather than an exception) and so I worked hard to turn this around to begin our mornings on a positive note.
I’ll bullet the obvious albeit counter-intuitive tips for a night owl before sharing our game-changers. I’m writing this also as a reminder to myself because we fell off the wagon during the last two months of online school.
Morning Must Do’s (You’ve heard this before):
- Set a 15-minute earlier wake-up time and stop hitting snooze.
- Give your kids their own alarms so they wake up on their own.
- Allow your kids to make their breakfast and then eat together.
- Stop complaining about your terrible sleep (no parent ever gets enough sleep no matter how old their children). As a recovering morning grumbler, I notice a big difference when I don’t harp at my husband about how tired I am due to a bad night of sleep (and vice versa). Who wants to hear someone complain first thing in the morning? Trust me. You will begin to feel better in a good way.
A pre-game hockey ritual rocked our morning routine!
My son gets full credit for the game-changing routine that he implemented in our home a couple of years back. My son plays hockey (although it’s been on hold during the pandemic), and his hockey coach plays music in the dressing room before each game to get the kids revved up.
My son replicated his coach’s ritual and created a playlist that he cranks each morning as we get ready to go.
We sing and sometimes dance around. The music wakes us up and has made mornings more fun. It’s also harder to yell when you are singing along.
Lesson Learned: When we pay attention, our kids often have great ideas, and the morning music that my son introduced is so simple — no playlist required — turn on your radio.
As much as I have made a conscious effort to improve our mornings over the past couple of years, there are still plenty of mornings when our day does not begin as planned and we find ourselves behind schedule. For example, someone needs to go the bathroom after they have their snow pants and boots on — this used to happen when my kids were younger all the time — it gets better, younger parents, I promise!
Regardless of what might slow down your morning routine, we try to create good vibes as we leave our home so that the rest of our day feels positive.
Three steps to create good vibes once you step out your door:
- Hit the RESET Button (when needed) and Say, “It’s Going to be a Good Day!”
If our morning routine runs amuck, as soon as we step out the door, we mentally hit the RESET button and say, let’s start over and make this a great day. I also apologize if I was part of the problem slowing us down or yelling unnecessarily.
Even when our mornings start well, we still acknowledge that we are going to create a great day. I say things like, “it’s going to be a good day at school” or “have fun playing in the snow at recess!”
2. SMILE and Say GOOD MORNING to the First Person you See.
Neighbor. Stranger. Bus Driver. Colleague.
It does not matter who. Smile and say good morning to the first person you see.
If you are not already doing this, you will be surprised how much this simple gesture will change your day.
It is the most ‘back-to-basics’ thing you can do that will make you feel more alive and connected (not data connected — the human kind).
3. REPEAT Step #2: Smile & Say Good Morning to Other People You See Along Your Route.
Once you say hello to the first person you see, it gets easier to continue saying good morning as you continue your journey.
I believe that a simple ‘good morning’ to someone you don’t know, is the simplest form of saying, “Hey, we’re all in this together.” It is a tangible behavior that creates good vibes and ultimately, builds community.
I say ‘good morning’ to as many people as I can while walking my kids to school and then again on my return trip home.
My kids used to ask me “do you know them?” but now they get it and they say ‘good morning’ too.
Honestly, this is my most basic routine for feel-better mornings.
It sometimes takes people aback and there are times when I don’t hear a response. Part of the reason we walk by people and don’t initiate a hello is because we are afraid of the rejection of the person not responding in turn.
I’ve learned, however, not to take it personally when my ‘good morning’ is not reciprocated (who knows what is going on in their world, or maybe they were engrossed in thought). I also know that I’m not ‘strange’ for acknowledging someone — I’m just trying to create a kinder and more welcoming neighborhood.
Work yourself up to the verbal ‘good morning’ with a smile and a head nod
If you’re not quite ready to mutter a good morning to a passerby, an easy lead-in to a verbal ‘good morning,’ is the even simpler act of smiling at someone you do not know as you pass them on the sidewalk.
Plus, there is science that suggests that smiling makes us happier. There is no ‘downside’ in this, and in fact, a lot more ‘upside’ (pun intended). In Toronto, people are wearing masks due to Covid, so a smile is hard to see, but your eyes are also smiling and you will feel happier smiling behind your mask.
I’ll never be a morning person but I will keep smiling (mask or no mask) and saying good morning to people I pass on the street in the hopes of making someone else feel more seen, visible, human, and connected.
Our family will also keep the music on each morning — this routine is creating more feel-good moments inside our home that continue to boom as we get on with our day. And on those mornings when the music hits a low note, we have the power to hit the RESET button at any point in our day.
Nightcaps off to the remainder of the school year with the hope that we might even find ourselves springing out of bed for the next six weeks of winter.
